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  • Writer's pictureJoey Amato

H4M Matchmaking Release Data Exploring LGBTQ+ Matchmaking

Certified matchmaker Tammy Shaklee and her team at H4M Matchmaking released new data exploring the LGBTQ+ community’s sentiment around online dating, the use of Artificial Intelligence (AI), and other challenges singles experience. After a decade of personally interviewing thousands of LGBTQ+ singles and with the rise of AI, H4M saw a need to explore AI’s role in the dating world and whether this new technology is helping or hurting singles. The survey, which gathered responses from a diverse group of LGBTQ+ participants, (ages 20s-70s) found that nearly 44% of  LGBTQ+ singles are somewhat or very concerned with AI’s role in dating.


Key findings include:

  • 45% of respondents reporting they have actually been deceived by AI or a chatbot while using online dating platforms.

  • 58% of LGBTQ+ singles reporting it harder to find a meaningful connection with someone through dating apps or websites compared to offline methods.

  • 57% of LGBTQ+ singles reporting that dating apps or websites have made dating more stressful.


“The modern dating scene prioritizes efficiency and accessibility over genuine connections," said Founder and President of H4M Matchmaking, Tammy Shaklee. “At H4M, we wanted to discover how singles really feel about modern dating tools and, in turn, how they can improve their experience.” 


In terms of AI's involvement in LGBTQ+ dating, the survey revealed diverse opinions. Approximately 58% of LGBTQ+ respondents expressed a neutral or positive stance on the ethics of AI, while 42% of respondents believe AI is somewhat or highly unethical. These statistics are slightly higher than the 45% of all Americans who feel neutral about the impact of AI on their daily lives (Nadeem, 2022). 


Interestingly, 75% of H4M participants reported that they had not utilized AI features in dating apps, while 25% described AI features in general as somewhat or or often deceptive. Furthermore, when asked about their interactions with AI, 75% of H4M’s LGBTQ+ respondents stated that they didn't use AI to assist their side of the conversation. In contrast, 25% reported that approximately 25% or more of their side of the conversations involved AI, a stark contrast to the statistic from cybersecurity and digital privacy company Kaspersky, which found that 75% of all dating app users are willing to use AI such as ChatGPT, while using online dating platforms (Kaspersky, 2023). The considerable difference between LGBTQ+ and general online dating users demonstrates the queer community's hesitance toward using AI in their dating lives. 


“Regrettably, a significant number of participants (29%) reported instances of deception by AI or chatbots while using dating apps,” says Shaklee. “However, it’s worth noting that 71% of respondents were unsure or had not experienced such deception, highlighting the need for ongoing efforts to enhance user safety and security in online dating environments.”


When asked about their willingness to utilize AI if it could improve their chances of securing an in-person date, 49% of respondents responded affirmatively, demonstrating a potential acceptance of AI's role in the dating process. Meanwhile, 29% indicated a possibility of considering AI, while 22% expressed a clear reluctance to rely on AI for this purpose. This contrasts the same Kaspersky study where 37% respondents said they would be open to using the tool to enhance their profiles (Kaspersky, 2023). Despite not wanting to rely on AI in their online dating conversations, LGBTQ+ respondents were more willing to utilize other forms of AI if it could improve their chances of a face-to-face meeting.


Surprisingly, 45% of participants reported instances of being deceived by AI or catfished while using dating apps. This finding underscores the need for platforms and service providers to prioritize user safety and implement robust measures to detect and prevent deceptive practices. These results were only slightly higher than the 41% of all US adults online reporting being victims of catfishing (Sirisha, 2023). This demonstrates that the issue is not limited to a niche group but has broader implications for the general population. The matter serves as a reminder for online dating users to be aware of the potential risk of deception and either take steps to protect themselves or look for alternative dating methods.


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